HAPPY BIRTHDAYamejisuto!!

I've written you a little Spander, love. Hope you like! You're a wonderful friend and I'm so glad I know you. *hugs*

Fandom: BtVS
Title: A Matter of Trust
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Summary: Good question. Xander wants something Spike is reluctant to give.
Setting: Indeterminate, but Xander hasn't had girl!sex
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1300 or so
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and all companies associated with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They are not mine. I just have more fun with them.
Beta: Me, and thank you to suki_blue for the read-through and support
Posted at: My journal and bloodclaim


A Matter of Trust


“Why do you have to top every time?”

“Because I’m the master here, nit.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me a nit. I don’t look anything like an insect. Only two legs, to start with.” He absent-mindedly scratched at his scalp. “And who died and made you master?”

“Er, pet…”

Xander waved his hand dismissively. “Apart from hundreds of demons and thousands of humans, including, um, you?”

“Goes without saying, don’t it? I’m the master of all I survey. Right now, I’m planning on surveying you.” He leered at Xander from his position between the boy’s open thighs.

“No, Spike. Right now we’re going to talk or you can exit, stage left,” Xander said, crossing his arms.

“You know, we could’ve been afterglowing by now, not arguing. I thought that’s why you bunked off school, so we could have some sweaty fun.”

Spike sighed when he recognised the stubborn set of Xander’s mouth and squirmed up the bed to rest his back against the headboard. “Right, I give up. We’re obviously not going to get down to the good stuff until this is sorted, and I’m fucking horny. What’s got your knickers in a twist?”

“If you mean why are my panties in a bunch… Hey! I don’t wear panties. Or knickers.”

“I know that, pet. And you know it’s just an expression. So come on, enough of changing the subject. Tell me what’s churning around in that cute little noggin of yours.”

Xander fiddled with the hem of the sheet, searching for the right words. “Look, it’s not that I don’t enjoy having naked fun with you. It’s just--“

“You want to top.”

“Yeah. Even if it’s just once, so I can find out what it’s like. We’ve been doing the nasty – and I so don’t know why anyone would call it that when it’s so nice - for a month and I’m sort of still a virgin! Why do I have to be the girl all the time?”

Spike slung an arm around Xander’s shoulders and kissed his temple. “It’s not a boy/girl thing, you n…wally. It’s a trust thing. Is for me, anyway.”

“You mean you don’t trust me?”

Taken aback by the hurt expression that flashed in Xander’s eyes, Spike spoke quickly. “It’s nothing personal, boy. Just never had reason to trust anyone who topped me.”

“You mean Angel?”

“Yeah, and Dru was such a bossy bottom, might as well call her a top.”

Xander’s forehead scrunched up. “Yeah, but Dru is a girl. And you loved her.”

“And she loved me, but Angel and Darla taught her to protect herself, and they weren’t gentle about it. She liked to control everything, including me.” His arm tightened. “One of the things I love about fucking you is you’re so responsive and willing. You give everything you have, everything you are.”

It always surprised Spike, how easily he could bring a blush to Xander’s cheeks. The smallest compliment, and the boy was rose pink.

“Um, thanks. I think.” He still looked doubtful. “Guess I kinda spoiled the mood. Sorry.”

Spike took the heated face in his hands, forcing Xander to meet his eyes. “Don’t be sorry. I like that you say what’s on your mind. The timing could’ve been better, though,” he said with a rueful grin.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. I trust you, but you don’t trust me. No matter what I do or say, even if I tell you I l-like you, that’ll never change?”

“Gonna tell me you l-like me?” Spike said, the grin widening.

The blush deepened. “Maybe, one day,” Xander said with a shy smile.

Spike sat back again, and thought hard for a minute. “You know, could be I’ve been looking at this all wrong. If Dru could be a bossy bottom, no reason I can’t. That do you?”

“If it means you trust me, even a tiny bit,” replied Xander hopefully.

“You’re a dopey prat, you know that?” Spike said with a fond smile. “You’re getting what you want. Silly time to impose conditions, isn’t it?”

“I guess so, but I didn’t get to be the worst student at Sunnydale High and the clumsiest Slayer’s assistant in history without pushing my luck,” Xander said with a cheeky grin, sensing a win for the home team.

This time, Spike laughed out loud. He shucked off his jeans and lay down comfortably on the bed, naked now, arms behind his head and legs splayed. “Okay, this is your show. You should know what to do by now.”

Xander suddenly went sheet white. “Oh god, oh shit, oh fuck. What if I’m no good? What if you hate it? What if--?”

“Whoa, boy! Don’t freak out on me now,” said Spike, sitting up and pulling Xander into his arms.

“Easy for you to say,” muttered the trembling boy into Spike’s neck.

Spike tipped up Xander’s face with one finger under his chin and dropped a quick kiss on his lips. “Shh. It’ll be fine. We’ve done this plenty of times. Now we just do it the other way ‘round, right?” He kissed Xander again, deeply and wetly this time, pleased when the mouth under his opened and a tongue came out to play.

Still kissing, he pulled Xander down on the mattress then pressed their bodies together and felt Xander’s cock stir against his thigh. Reaching between them with one hand, he took both cocks in one hand and stroked them firmly until they were hard and leaking.

Xander broke the kiss and began to pant out little murmurs of encouragement.

Deciding to keep it simple this time, considering how nervous his bedmate was, Spike reached for the lube he’d tucked under a pillow earlier and slapped it into Xander’s hand. “Slick up your fingers, pet.”

With a slightly scared glance at the tube, Xander obeyed.

Pulling up his legs and holding them to his chest to make Xander’s access to his entrance as easy as possible, he whispered, “Now, Xander. Open me up, yeah? Wanna feel you inside me.”

“Really?”

“Really. I’m a vamp of my word and now I’ve made up my mind to do this, we’re gonna do it right. That means lots of lube and a hard cock up my arse,” he replied with a reassuring smile.

“O-okay.”

He’d always known Xander was a fast learner but even he was surprised by just how fast. Xander’s preparations were thorough and he moaned when questing fingers found his prostate first try. Within a few minutes he was ready and the head of Xander’s cock was prodding at his opening. “Yeah, pet, just like that. Push in slowly. You know as well as I do there’s a bit of burn at the start but you also know how good it feels.”

With a decisive nod, Xander obeyed and moved in by inches until his cock was fully seated inside Spike. His eyes, which had closed in concentration, snapped open as the feeling overwhelmed him. “Spiiiiiiike,” he moaned, and began to move.

It couldn’t last long. Xander was more excited than he’d ever been in his short life and his awkward, enthusiastic stripping of Spike’s cock as he pumped into his body erratically turned Spike on more that he would have believed possible. It was nothing like being with the arch-seducer, Angel; it was much, much better.

After they came with matching cries, Xander slumped down onto Spike’s body, exhausted. His softening cock slipped out of his partner’s body as Spike turned him so they lay side by side on the bed, Xander’s head resting on Spike’s shoulder, Spike’s hand gently stroking Xander’s arm.

“Know what, Xan?”

“Mphrrrm?”

"Seems trust isn’t so hard to come by, after all, even for the Big Bad.”