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Pressie for snowpuppies!!

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFRIEND snowpuppies

It was Snowy's birthday on Monday and I was a very bad girl and didn't get this finished on time. But I love her very, very much.

Title: Experiment
Author: kitty_poker1
Pairing: Xander/Angel(us)
Fandom: BtVS
Disclaimer: They're not mine. Not a single one. In this case, I'm not altogether sorry. All credit belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and associated companies and individuals responsible for BtVS
Rating: R for torture and mention of drugs
Warning: This is not a fun fic. Those of you who know me know I write Spander fluff. This time I didn't. It'll probably be the last time I stray




Xander heard a familiar snap. Fuck, there went another one.

Snap, crackle, pop. Bones snapped, skin crackled at the touch of a live flame and joints popped out their sockets with just a firm tug. He’d learned that the hard way over the last -- hour, day, year? Not that he was counting. There didn't seem much point. He wasn't going anywhere.

He idly wondered when he was going to die. Couldn’t be long now. He was almost looking forward to it. He could feel the pain scratching urgently behind the heroin barrier and knew it would soon break free and overwhelm him. At least, it would if he didn’t get another armful of the precious drug soon. Funny, he’d always been a just say no kind of guy.

But he’d already been told there was no more ‘H’ coming. It was an experiment, his captor had explained patiently, to see what happened when he finally came out of his drug-induced numbness and felt it. Felt it all crashing down.

He could almost admire the artistry. He wasn’t surprised his companion had such an intimate knowledge of just how much damage a human body could sustain before it collapsed completely. He’d had hundreds of years of hands-on experience. But the mental torture -- now, that was something special.

Dragging open a puffy, bloodied eye, he looked up at the dark figure standing beside him. “Why?” The word emerged scratchily from a throat swollen and raw from the screams he’d sent bouncing around the apartment before Angel had pulled that blessed needle from his coat pocket.

“Why what, lover?” asked Angel.

Xander winced as he remembered other occasions when he’d been called that by the other man, the endearment whispered into his ear as he was fucked in the very bed he was now chained to. But this wasn’t that man. Wasn’t Angel. “Thought … loved me.”

Angelus furrowed his brow. “You know, so did I. Turns out my demon had other ideas and it's calling the shots now.” He giggled, eyes brilliant with the gleam of insanity, then leaned forward and murmured confidingly, “It’s all your fault, you know. You shouldn’t have made me so damn happy.”

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Comments

( 63 comments — Leave a comment )
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snowpuppies
Feb. 17th, 2005 08:51 pm (UTC)


Wow!

Damn. I love this - it's so subtle, yet completely horrifying at the same time. And very Xander - the brain wandering about almost nonchalantly...of course, some of that was the drugs, too. :p

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
You're the bestest bester best friend a girl could have and I love you.

kitty_poker1
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
Did I surprise you, baby? Told you I'd write something bleak and angsty one day.

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Couldn't write schmoop for my Snowy, now, could I?

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

You're the bestest bester best friend a girl could ever have too. And so patient with all my daftness. Thank you, sweetheart!

amejisuto
Feb. 17th, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC)
Ewww! That's just gross and so sad. She'll love it! Great job luv. Really great!
kitty_poker1
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC)
LMAO! She did love it! Thank you so much for looking it over for me. I wanted to get it right. You're a terrific friend. *huggles!*
(no subject) - amejisuto - Feb. 17th, 2005 09:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snowpuppies - Feb. 17th, 2005 09:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - amejisuto - Feb. 17th, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - Feb. 17th, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - Feb. 17th, 2005 09:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - amejisuto - Feb. 17th, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - Feb. 17th, 2005 09:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - amejisuto - Feb. 18th, 2005 01:39 am (UTC) - Expand
velvetwhip
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
OMG! I know this was a prezzie for someone else, but you writing dark!fic makes me happy as well! I LOVE THIS! I don't even like Angelus/Xander very much and I still love this! Wow! You need to write more dark!fic!


Gabrielle
kitty_poker1
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Gabrielle! I wasn't sure I even could write any more after so long a dry spell and I never thought a dark!fic would break the drought. Not sure I'll be writing much more of it, though. It's hard!

So glad you enjoyed it. :)
(no subject) - velvetwhip - Feb. 17th, 2005 10:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - Feb. 17th, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - velvetwhip - Feb. 17th, 2005 10:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - Feb. 17th, 2005 10:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - velvetwhip - Feb. 17th, 2005 10:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - Feb. 17th, 2005 11:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - Feb. 17th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - velvetwhip - Feb. 17th, 2005 11:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
evilmaniclaugh
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
That was just amazing.

You didn't mean it when you said you were hanging up your nasty did you? You're so good at it *g*

Hidden talents.

*kisses*
kitty_poker1
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks, hun. I think! *g* Happy you liked!

Yeah, I'm pure evil inside. BWAH!

*smoochies*
greenstone_j
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC)
Such a lovely birthday fic, I couldn't think of a more perfect present for our princess of pain! Nicely brutal! But I'm without an approriate icon *sob*
kitty_poker1
Feb. 17th, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC)
Thanks, love, glad you enjoyed. Yeah, I had to dig deep to find something suitably dark, angsty, bleak ... It was such fun! :p

I don't have an appropriate icon, either. But I do like Spike's ass. *drool*
lunabee34
Feb. 18th, 2005 01:51 am (UTC)
It'll probably be the last time I stray

Oh, I hope not. This isn't happy, but I like the occasional dark!fic. I think this is very well-written. What a nice birthday pressie for your friend.

Poor, Xander and Angel, too. If he ever gets his soul back, killing Xander's going to kill him.
kitty_poker1
Feb. 18th, 2005 07:50 am (UTC)
Thanks, Lorraine! I do love to hear that you think it's well-written.

Poor, Xander and Angel, too. If he ever gets his soul back, killing Xander's going to kill him.

Yep, there were no jolly aspects to this ficlet at all! Unrelieved gloom and doom. *bounce* Nice to know I could actually do it, even if it was probably a one-off.
(no subject) - lunabee34 - Feb. 19th, 2005 04:53 am (UTC) - Expand
eyezrthewindows
Feb. 18th, 2005 06:11 am (UTC)
Jesus. Never thought I'd see the day. You wrote dark and angsty and...non-happy!

It was good!

*sigh* I've still pretty much got nothing, lmao.
kitty_poker1
Feb. 18th, 2005 07:53 am (UTC)
I told you I'd write dark and angsty one day. Why didn't you believe me? *vbg*

It was good!

Thanks, pet! I'm glad you thought so. And no possibility of a happy ending. Ain't that a kicker?

You'll get there. You always do. *hugs*

Edited at 2007-12-28 09:36 pm (UTC)
toobusy2write
Feb. 21st, 2005 10:44 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. Loved this. Chilling and completely in character for Xander and Angelus.

*hugs*
kitty_poker1
Feb. 21st, 2005 11:00 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Kat! I'm so glad you liked it. It was oddly satisfying to write. It was oddly satisfying to know I still could write something! Now, back to the beta'ing. ttys.

*hugs*
lelaina_c
Mar. 6th, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
I'm late, but wow, that was fabulous! Very well written and nicely evil. ;)

It'll probably be the last time I stray
*pouts*

*smooches*
kitty_poker1
Mar. 6th, 2005 02:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy the writing and all-round evilness. Hehe.

Hey, I don't mind late. You got there in the end and I always love to hear from you.

It'll probably be the last time I stray
*pouts*


Well, never say never. But it was back to my regularly scheduled Spander schmoop for the next one. *bg*

*smooches back*
(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - May. 29th, 2005 10:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kitty_poker1 - May. 29th, 2005 10:28 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lelaina_c - May. 29th, 2005 02:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
flufshepherd
Jun. 1st, 2005 11:26 pm (UTC)
*loves this*

Wow! You really do write dark magnificently! This was just so lovely and angsty. I think I love you a little more every time I read something of yours.
kitty_poker1
Jun. 1st, 2005 11:37 pm (UTC)
You read it! *enormous grin*

Wow! You really do write dark magnificently!

Awww. Thank you, sweetie. I tried really hard and it was scary how fluently it came.

This was just so lovely and angsty. I think I love you a little more every time I read something of yours.

Love you too! Now you've done it. I'll have to write more so you can love me more. *smooch*
(no subject) - flufshepherd - Jun. 2nd, 2005 12:32 am (UTC) - Expand
devo79
Dec. 22nd, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
Wow! I really like this in a hurty kind of way!
kitty_poker1
Dec. 28th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked! Most of my stuff is fluffy but this was a departure and it was a stretch. It's wonderful to hear good things about it. Thank you!
dreamsofspike
Mar. 3rd, 2008 02:25 pm (UTC)
man that's intense...poor xander...that curse of angel's is really a cruel thing, isn't it? suppose that's the point...but the idea that anyone who makes him happy...anyone he might be able to be with...is only going to turn him into a monster...

and now xander's paying the consequences...very sad, dark, intriguing little ficlet...excellent work, love :)
kitty_poker1
Mar. 5th, 2008 01:37 pm (UTC)
that curse of angel's is really a cruel thing, isn't it?

Very cruel, but makes for an interesting twist in fic. *g*

So glad you read and enjoyed. Thanks for commenting, hon. Very nice to know it worked for you.
snowpuppies
Feb. 24th, 2009 05:08 pm (UTC)
You've been Nominated at The Absence of Light Awards!
This message is to inform you that you've been nominated at absence_oflight.


All nominations MUST be accepted. To do so, please respond to this comment. You only have to respond once per round, (in the event that you receive this message more than once for multiple nominations). We ask you to post a link back to us, however this is not required to win.

Your nominations:


Experiment by kitty_poker1 (R; Xander/Angel(us))

Category: Dark - Drabble

And if you want to say thanks, why not spread the love and nominate someone else?
kitty_poker1
Feb. 25th, 2009 01:50 pm (UTC)
Re: You've been Nominated at The Absence of Light Awards!
Accepted! What, you expected me to say no? :p

lusciousxander
Feb. 28th, 2009 06:02 am (UTC)
Wow... just so wow, and hurts so bad!
kitty_poker1
Mar. 3rd, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It came out so naturally that it was scary. *g* I usually write fluff, but I'm so glad to have given dark a go.
strickens_girl
Mar. 1st, 2009 08:12 am (UTC)
How did I miss this before? *flails* Amazing and well worth the nom.

*hugs*
kitty_poker1
Mar. 3rd, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
LOL! Never mind, babe, you got to it in the end. *hugs*

It's quite freaky, isn't it? I do dark so rarely... Actually, this is the only one. *g*
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